I should be watching this documentary from Netflix that I've been hanging onto for weeks, Making Of The Misfits - ACK! And maybe I will before the night ends. But I never blog anymore and deemed today worthy enough.
I finished writing a book today. It's something I actually felt I'd accomplished weeks ago, it just needed another 1000 words or so to cap it off. It's neither dear to my heart nor is it unique. It's a Young Adult vampire drama that I HOPE rings true to my style. When I read it for editing purposes I thought, "WOW, this is really good!"
But when I think about it later I think, "TRITE, PATHETIC, ABSURD."
I think we're calling it BLOOD DRUNK. I wrote it as an experiment. I've wanted to write a REAL book for many years now and heard everyone persist, "Young Adult is where the money is!"
Not that I did it just for the money. I've had this idea for a long time. I tried to write a script based on it with one of my BFFs but we weren't as prolific together as we'd aspired to be. One of my late and lonely nights waiting on a train platform it hit me - I'm all alone. Anything could happen down here. And that's when I looked into the dark tunnel hoping for a train but instead imagined a vampire flying out and feeding on me. It was incredible. Finally I wrote about it. I wrote 68,000 words about it, to be exact. And now it's in the hands of my closest friends and even a stranger or two. But that's okay because this isn't a subject near and dear to my heart so criticism will land on eager ears. I just want this to be a fun book.
I've had some harsh feedback for my short lil' collection of essays (which has miraculously been paying the bills.) But that criticism doesn't really bother me. It's mostly from readers who don't enjoy satire. And I know I'm a fantastic writer. That's something no one's ever been able to take away, though plenty of times I wish they would've. I wish I could've been something else. I didn't want to be a writer - I just was one. I fell into success with it for this very reason. I wanted to be a dozen other things, but writing is the one thing I do compulsively and well. I've met a lot of people who want to be writers, but they have little to show for it. The first time I moved to Los Angeles I met a lot of people like this who'd written just one or two things.
To them I said, "I caught a fish once but I don't call myself a fisherman."
I technically wrote this book in a month if I'm honest about how much time I put into it. After a while I had to force myself to complete it. Someday soon I'll write a very different book. I'll write things close to my heart, things that define and scare me. I'll write that book and never be able to read what the critics say. But I know that book has to come out of me eventually. Most likely, it will sound a lot like this. (I wrote that story in less than 30 minutes and it still feels like the most honest and beautiful thing to ever come out of me.)
Logan's away conducting auditions for his gameshow. I miss him. I had to celebrate all by myself, shucking oysters with the little butter knife I stole from The Algonquin years ago. Mom just took us there for dinner. I still get a thrill over its round table, but I don't think I love Dorothy Parker anymore. I think my heart stopped beating for her a long time ago. I try to find new writers but it's so rare anyone is writing with a bare-bones beauty. It's so rare that a writer stands naked before you laying it all on the line. When I read most authors I can just feel them twisting words and forcing them into place. I just fell madly in love with the works of Lauren Groff though - TRUE LOVE! Bought her novel immediately after gobbling up every short story I could find. The novel is blurbed by Lorrie Moore and Stephen King, naturally - two of my most favorite living writers. I get so tired of defending Stephen King to lit snobs. It always ends with me telling them, "You're just jealous."
Every writer wants to be that prolific, not to mention, imaginative.
I'm excited for my book. It's a good read, I know this is true. It's smart enough and very adventurous. I did a few new things while being true to vampires. I've never actually read a vampire novel, but True Blood makes my heart go wild. It stays within my preferred lines (I don't like my vampires going into the sun, though I have enjoyed watching the Twilight series - I'm only human!) As Margot put it, "It reads like a mystery novel."
And that's what I hoped for. Still a lot of cracks to fill and edits to make, but I can't wait for the feedback.
My therapist once told me I'm too social to be a very prolific writer. It's lonely and agitates most people when they sit down determined to write THE GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL. Ever since she brought me to that STOP sign I've been determined to change it. (She also told me how to change our thinking which has helped me become worlds less morbid!) To anyone trying, these are my suggestions:
- Disconnect your wifi while you're working.
- Download OmmWriter (I wrote the entire thing on this program.)
- Find a comfy spot where you're bathed in sunlight for at least 2-4 hours of writing time.
I'd like to write the next two books in this vampire series as soon as possible. But I am DYING to write a Young Adult zombies series! I've been having dreams as the characters I'm writing. This vampire series might not even take off. I'm prepared for that. But writing is a horse I'll always climb back onto. It wears me out just thinking about it. But what choice do I have?
I finished writing a book today. It's something I actually felt I'd accomplished weeks ago, it just needed another 1000 words or so to cap it off. It's neither dear to my heart nor is it unique. It's a Young Adult vampire drama that I HOPE rings true to my style. When I read it for editing purposes I thought, "WOW, this is really good!"
But when I think about it later I think, "TRITE, PATHETIC, ABSURD."
I think we're calling it BLOOD DRUNK. I wrote it as an experiment. I've wanted to write a REAL book for many years now and heard everyone persist, "Young Adult is where the money is!"
Not that I did it just for the money. I've had this idea for a long time. I tried to write a script based on it with one of my BFFs but we weren't as prolific together as we'd aspired to be. One of my late and lonely nights waiting on a train platform it hit me - I'm all alone. Anything could happen down here. And that's when I looked into the dark tunnel hoping for a train but instead imagined a vampire flying out and feeding on me. It was incredible. Finally I wrote about it. I wrote 68,000 words about it, to be exact. And now it's in the hands of my closest friends and even a stranger or two. But that's okay because this isn't a subject near and dear to my heart so criticism will land on eager ears. I just want this to be a fun book.
I've had some harsh feedback for my short lil' collection of essays (which has miraculously been paying the bills.) But that criticism doesn't really bother me. It's mostly from readers who don't enjoy satire. And I know I'm a fantastic writer. That's something no one's ever been able to take away, though plenty of times I wish they would've. I wish I could've been something else. I didn't want to be a writer - I just was one. I fell into success with it for this very reason. I wanted to be a dozen other things, but writing is the one thing I do compulsively and well. I've met a lot of people who want to be writers, but they have little to show for it. The first time I moved to Los Angeles I met a lot of people like this who'd written just one or two things.
To them I said, "I caught a fish once but I don't call myself a fisherman."
I technically wrote this book in a month if I'm honest about how much time I put into it. After a while I had to force myself to complete it. Someday soon I'll write a very different book. I'll write things close to my heart, things that define and scare me. I'll write that book and never be able to read what the critics say. But I know that book has to come out of me eventually. Most likely, it will sound a lot like this. (I wrote that story in less than 30 minutes and it still feels like the most honest and beautiful thing to ever come out of me.)
Logan's away conducting auditions for his gameshow. I miss him. I had to celebrate all by myself, shucking oysters with the little butter knife I stole from The Algonquin years ago. Mom just took us there for dinner. I still get a thrill over its round table, but I don't think I love Dorothy Parker anymore. I think my heart stopped beating for her a long time ago. I try to find new writers but it's so rare anyone is writing with a bare-bones beauty. It's so rare that a writer stands naked before you laying it all on the line. When I read most authors I can just feel them twisting words and forcing them into place. I just fell madly in love with the works of Lauren Groff though - TRUE LOVE! Bought her novel immediately after gobbling up every short story I could find. The novel is blurbed by Lorrie Moore and Stephen King, naturally - two of my most favorite living writers. I get so tired of defending Stephen King to lit snobs. It always ends with me telling them, "You're just jealous."
Every writer wants to be that prolific, not to mention, imaginative.
I'm excited for my book. It's a good read, I know this is true. It's smart enough and very adventurous. I did a few new things while being true to vampires. I've never actually read a vampire novel, but True Blood makes my heart go wild. It stays within my preferred lines (I don't like my vampires going into the sun, though I have enjoyed watching the Twilight series - I'm only human!) As Margot put it, "It reads like a mystery novel."
And that's what I hoped for. Still a lot of cracks to fill and edits to make, but I can't wait for the feedback.
My therapist once told me I'm too social to be a very prolific writer. It's lonely and agitates most people when they sit down determined to write THE GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL. Ever since she brought me to that STOP sign I've been determined to change it. (She also told me how to change our thinking which has helped me become worlds less morbid!) To anyone trying, these are my suggestions:
- Disconnect your wifi while you're working.
- Download OmmWriter (I wrote the entire thing on this program.)
- Find a comfy spot where you're bathed in sunlight for at least 2-4 hours of writing time.
I'd like to write the next two books in this vampire series as soon as possible. But I am DYING to write a Young Adult zombies series! I've been having dreams as the characters I'm writing. This vampire series might not even take off. I'm prepared for that. But writing is a horse I'll always climb back onto. It wears me out just thinking about it. But what choice do I have?
"Writing stopped being fun when I discovered the difference between good writing and bad and, even more terrifying, the difference between it and true art. And after that, the whip came down." - Truman Capote
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