Last night I did a reading at Rabbithole Studios - a wonderful spot in Brooklyn that employs starving artists as movers when they're not dishing out incredible literature, paintings or music. One of my most favorite ladies of all time just put together a reading series and flattered me not just by asking me to read, but also by putting me LAST! IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!!! My old knitting group of working artists turned out. I hadn't seen most of them since before I moved to L.A. and at first our hugs were awkward. But by the end of the night I was overcome with such good lovin.
I'm getting corny as I get older, but WOW! People can be SO INCREDIBLE sometimes! I've never been complimented on a reading by so many. That's Brooklyn folk for ya - they look too cool for school, but they've got big ol' hearts. And BABIES!!! Everybody conceived and then birthed a BABY since I left! It was like a baby petting zoo up in that joint! With my biological clock, I felt like an alcoholic standing in a liquor store. (I need an ovaries silencer.) Logan's ready to go, but I just need a little more ME time before I become the slave of an infant.
I read a story that I'd spent pretty much all day yesterday writing. I tried writing it earlier, but there's something about the last minute that sets me ablaze. It's one of the funniest things I've ever written. I still can't believe I turned it out. It's one of those rare creations that makes you wanna high-five yourself.
I used the last line from my stand-up routine to cap this tale off too. It was a line that exited my mouth when Logan and I were having one of those accidental two hour phone calls where we keep working for the other one's laugh. That guy has pulled stuff out of me that I never knew was there. He is incredible. The joy he carries around and his perspective are infectious and they change me for the better. Yeah, I'm in love, and that makes me happy automatically. But being with someone who's always full of compliments, excited about the day, kind to strangers, and cracking jokes is better than winning the lottery. He couldn't be there last night cos they were still auditioning people for his show. But he was certainly with me in spirit.
I fell down pretty early into the night. Haven't worn high heels much these days and busted out an incredible pair of Italian beauties that Tristan scored for me from Benetton for TWELVE DOLLARS!!! That's practically FREE! I was running around the office of the studio and wiped out hard, taking a ladder with me. I fall down so frequently that I was probably a little too casual in asking the very gracious owner to pick me up. When I realized only he and Kate saw it, I was a little disappointed. I bet it was hilarious.
Johnny and Lisa came and it was Johnny's birthday! I LOVE THEM! It was the first time I really got to hang out with Lisa, which is absurd cos they're getting married this year and he's one of my best friends. She's incredible. Laura-Lizzie surprised me by showing up and I couldn't paw at her enough. It's so great having old friends cos you get to watch them grow up. Molly and Amanda joined us at the bar Johnny picked out. I thought we'd grown apart after they put me up during a crazy shift in my life (I thought I'd worn out my welcome.) But it wasn't so. I think getting that time with them last night was probably the happiest thing of all. They'd gotten engaged back when we first got close. I asked last night when they were gonna tie the knot. "When they make it legal," said Molly.
I can't believe that's the answer. But there are people who think by letting gays marry it will somehow rob them of something. (Or cause more tsunamis. Yep.)
Both of the stories I read last night were pretty disturbing, but I felt so elated afterward. I used to be scared of writing like that - that it might tell people the wrong thing about me. A lot of bad things have happened to me, just as they have to all of us. Lemons into lemonade, I suppose. I think that's my strongest voice - the angry, disgruntled, terrorizing one. I think I'm getting better at using it too.
And tonight I get to climb aboard a Jeep with Margot and Jenn - my current favorite ladies - and drive to a tiny cabin upstate for Margot's birthday. These are two of the smartest, funniest, most compassionate women I've ever known. They've been BFFs forever and I always marvel at how generous they are with friends on the outside of their relationship. Jenn's a chef and every time I trek across town to eat at their place - the most stunning home anyone I know has ever owned - I stay so much later than planned. Let me go back to that - Margot BOUGHT an incredible apartment! I have DREAMS about living on their couch! THEIR COUCH! It's stunning! They made brunch for us when Mom was in town and even she can't shut up about it!
This is what I've learned, especially on a day like today: You are the sum of the people you love, so love wisely. Since last night I have been feeling such gratitude to every event that landed me here among these people and on this path. So much was accidental, but my intentions were good. Sometimes that's all they have to be.
Gabe and I were talking the other day about friends letting us down. He's the one who encouraged me to start getting stuff on Amazon. He's been a huge instigator of all things good in my life for almost twenty years now. He told me that he holds all his other friends next to me and they always let him down by comparison. He tells me nearly every time we speak what he loves about me and how much I mean to him. He also laughs enough at the stupid voices I do for him that he makes me feel like the funniest person in the world.
I'd like to believe that I could've gotten to this point on my own, but that isn't how it works. I'm only as good as the people who love me. And today I'm feeling incredible.
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